Been sick

I promise I didn't drop off the earth after my last post.  My family got the "sick bug".  First it started Wednesday night with Trinity, Friday night with me (took me till today to feeling normal), Saturday my mom (who normally babysits) and my husband (Trinity had her first spend the night away from home), Sunday my dad (Trinity was over at there house last week) and then today my mother-in-law (she kept Trinity Saturday when both me and my husband was running fevers).  I promise I will be back on as soon as everybody is well again. 

One good thing (I think?) I did loose 6 pounds during this sickness!  At least there is something from it.....Now if it will just not return!!!!!!!!

I am ashamed

This is a rare thing for me....to let down my guard.....to be vulnerable..to confess....but I am ashamed.

When I graduated high school I weighted a mere 96 pounds.  I remember folks would fuss at me that I needed to put some "meat on my bones".  22 years later and fixing to turn "40" this year, I realize that I don't think they meant this much "meat". 

I have allowed myself to play games with my health.  Using the excuse that tomorrow I would start to watch what I eat, to exercise, to get healthy.  I have lied to myself for so long that I'm so overwhelmed with what is really in front of me.

Its not a mid-life crisis...its tired of being tired all the time, being winded when I play with my little girl, climbing up the steps to church and feeling like I need a break, of my knees and back hurting, of not being in the mood, of being worried if the chest pain and tightening I'm feeling is a heart attack, worrying that I've got diabetes like my parents, worrying if I will see my daughter grow up, and the list goes on.

I've yo-yo diet for so long, not sticking with anything....in my head I know what I need to do - its just getting it out without becoming so overwhelmed that I want to throw in the towel immediately. 

I was reading a blog post this morning from a few days ago, Prior Fat Girl and she said the following:

"A raw moment in life when all of a sudden, I realized that I was responsible for who I am. I allowed myself to look in the mirror and stop playing games. I started to fight because I knew I had no other option. It was either allow myself to continue to complain about how unhappy I was…or do something about it.
I started my healthiness journey because I had a choice. As I sit here today, I am reminded about why this healthiness journey is so important. I am reminded about why I began, and why forever, it is important for me to keep close to my heart, those feelings about why I started."

Unfortunately I haven't started but everything she said made sense.....I do need to stop playing game with my health/weight.  I need to start to fight.  There is no other option.  I must do something about it. I have a choice.

At this point I am sad, I am hurt, I am mad - I am ashamed.

I am hoping that it takes these feelings to fire me up and get me off my butt and do something about it. About all this weight, about being unhealthy.

So now I am face with the overwhelming thought "what is the starting point".................any suggestions?

Pics as promise



Morning Cartoon Time



I found mommy's tupperware cabinet

Cleaned it out and now its my hiding place

At mommy's work - working up a storm

My birthday party and dress

Fall Time

I need a hug

Good Morning

I am one year old

Its been awhile.....

With the new addition in the family, 2010 was very busy!  I know I let several months pass since I've last updated. 

Trinity Update:
She turned one in November.  She's walking and playing.  Her smile and laughter just brightens my day!  She has brought our whole family closer together.  She is definitely a gift from God!

Mike:
He's now been working at BevAir since June.  He really likes it and has met some great folks.  He started going to Eternity Bible College online and just finished his first semester this past December.  Second semester will be starting in a few weeks.  He hasn't decided if he is just going for the 2 year degree or the 4 year.  God has been using him in so many avenues....He helps out with the teen group on Wednesday nites at church, He spoke at a benefit show the teens put on to raise money for their mission trip in June, and he will be going this month to Asheboro to speak at a get-together for a group of X-box players.  I can't wait to see what all God has in store for him in 2011.

Me:
Still working as practice manager.  I still yearn to be a stay at home mom and housewife.  I know that God will grant this to me when the time is right.  So for now I patiently (well I try most of the time!!!) wait. Both work and home life have taken up most of my time so life is pretty humdrum for me at the moment.  This can be good though.............

We really haven't set any goals for 2011.....just:
- get healthy!  We both have gained quite abit of our weight back.  It from having such a busy lifestyle that we eat out alot!!
- get closer to being debt free!  (This will help with my desire too!)
- spend as much time as possible with our little girl! (She's growing way too fast!)

I will try to post more as I really enjoy reading others blogs and by posting its a way to connect.  Hope everyone has a great day!  Happy New Year!!!

More pics

Hello!

Papaw and Trinity

Fourth of July - watching fireworks

Thomason Gathering

After bath

Ain't I a cutie!

In my swing

Great Finds on Others Blog

When I read other blogs I always see things that I want to do, try, cook, craft, etc but then I forget where I seen them.  So I have decided to start posting those so they will be easy for me to find.  Enjoy........

Coupon Organization:

Would love to have a few of these on my deck:  Concrete planters

Too cool deco art:

Gotta start getting ideas for little one's birthday party:  Flowers

I love lemonade:

Should I make butter:

More current pics..........

Such a happy baby!

Ready for church

Read for a day out with Daddy!

Growing up - sitting in a highchair at Macaroni Grill